The Butterfly Story
My mother was a woman of warm beauty who was full of wit, wisdom and imagination. Mary Clarice Payne Mitchell, born in 1927, died in July of 2016, after being married to our sweet Daddy for 68 WHOLE years. She was the mother of 6 kids, grandmother of 11, and great-grandmother of 8. This is a story of when she came to visit my sister Mary and me in the form of a butterfly. 🦋
One day in December 2017, Mary and I decided to go to the cemetery to put Christmas flowers on Mom and Dad’s grave. Mary arrived at the cemetery before me, as I made a stop at our old family homestead at the corner of Littlecrest and Rawhide Parkway in Farmers Branch, Texas. I say “homestead”, but at this point it was only a dirt lot. Our home had been purchased by a developer who had torn it down, and removed every single scrap of what was our family’s home for over 50 years. Even the concrete sidewalks had been removed. I drove up to find just an empty piece of land on a hill where our home used to be, but a lifetime of memories still remained.
I stopped and got out of the car to take pictures to send to my siblings. I then called Mary to let her know why I’d be late to meet her at the cemetery. She told me that while she was waiting for me, she saw the familiar sunlight streaming through the trees, and shining down on the tombstone of our parents. Each and every time we visit the cemetery, these same sun rays shine right down on our parents’ granite tombstone that reads “Love Lives On, Married 68 WHOLE years”.
Like always, Mary hit the perfect time of day to see God’s light shining down on the stone that inscribed our parents’ names. She knelt down, to say a prayer and talk to our parents, and she felt Mom encouraging her to take a picture (Mom was ALWAYS about the pictures!). While kneeling down by the grave and talking to our sweet Mama, a butterfly flew in circles around Mary. Mary was surprised to see a butterfly in North Texas in mid-December, since butterflies typically migrate south by this point of the winter. As her breath caught in awe of this moment, Mary whispered, “Mama, if that’s you, will you land so I can take a picture?” Our Mama always taught us to have our cameras ready to capture the “Kodak moment”. The butterfly fluttered around and landed right on Mary’s shoulder! Mary gasped and through tears said, “Hi Mama....I love you!” At that exact moment Mary’s cell phone rang, and it was me, calling to let Mary know I would be later than planned because I had stopped by our family home site. Mary answered the phone and through tears and a voice that was barely a squeak, she told me the story of the butterfly on her shoulder, and I hurriedly said, “Tell Mom to wait for me!”
About 5 minutes later, I pulled into the cemetery and Mary was still kneeling down by the gravesite. She told me that as soon as she had hung up the phone with me, she said to the butterfly (aka Mama) that “Sara was on the way”, and if she could wait for me that would be great. So the butterfly flew off Mary’s shoulder and landed on the artificial flowers Mary had just put in the vase on the tombstone. This, we see now, was another interesting coincidence. Why would a butterfly need to land on fake flowers? Just a resting place I suppose until her other daughter could arrive….AND, so that Mary could capture that Kodak moment. Mama knew Mary couldn’t get a good shot when she was resting on her shoulder, after all!
I got out of the car, and Mary said, “Look! The butterfly flew to the flowers right after we hung up the phone, and hasn’t moved since”. Mary had wondered if she had hurt the butterfly somehow when she was so startled that it had landed on her shoulder. Now we know that Mama wasn’t hurt, she was posing for that Kodak moment while awaiting my arrival. She didn’t even flutter her wings, as she wouldn’t want the picture to be blurry.
I knelt down beside Mary and said, “Hi Mama! I’m here and thank you for waiting for me!” The butterfly immediately started fluttering her beautiful wings and then took off from the flowers and started flying in circles over our heads. Up, up, up into the branches of the tree, the butterfly flew. This same tree was the spot where our entire family had gathered two times in 9 months to bury our parents. The same tree that was the reason our grandparents and then later our parents had picked these spots for their final resting place. Mom flew in and out of the branches and around and around our heads for another few minutes. I said to my sister, “Now she's just showing off!”
When mom passed away at 88 years old, her body was old and hunched over. She had a lot of pain in her knees. She had shortness of breath from a lung surgery she had experienced 50 years earlier. She had a heart condition, and fluid constantly building up around her heart because her heart was no longer strong enough to pump it all away. Our mother had a strong and determined spirit, and the desire to just fly and “show off” the way this butterfly was doing now. At 88 years old, mom’s physical body had limited what her spiritual body wanted to do. Now, with no limitations from old age or the physical world, we completely believe that indeed, our Mom was now showing off. She was clearly letting us know that she was not only okay, she was joyful and dancing with Daddy and with Jesus in heaven.
Mary and I watched the show in awe and wonder while we cried sweet, happy tears. We hugged each other and told Mom and Dad how much we loved them and then we drove away. But the story doesn’t end there….
I left the cemetery that day and went to my childhood friend Kathy’s house to celebrate her birthday. Mary left and drove to our old homestead piece of land to see it for herself. About 10 minutes after leaving each other, I was standing in the bathroom at Kathy’s home putting on my makeup and my phone rang. It was Mary. I answered on speakerphone, as my hands were full of makeup brushes, and I thought I’d multitask and keep applying my makeup while we talked. Mary’s voice, in a half squeal, half scream filled the bathroom from my phone speaker and said, “Sara…I’m seriously about to lose my S#!T”!
I said, “What happened? Are you okay?” Mary said that as she pulled up at the curb at our former homesite, she rolled down the window to take a picture. And Mama, in the form of the butterfly, flew in the window of her car! It looked EXACTLY like the same butterfly. Now, keep in mind that Hilltop cemetery and our family homesite are 3.5 miles away from each other! What a coincidence that the butterfly had flown all that way at the same time Mary did. Or did the butterfly sit on the hood of Mary’s car the whole drive over? Regardless….Mary had gone to visit Mom and Dad at the cemetery, and then to honor them again at the site where we grew up. And Mom was with her in BOTH locations.
Our mom taught us to look for the miracles and beauty of our Heavenly Father in signs everywhere around us. She also taught us that there are no mere coincidences with God. In her eternal wisdom, she once said to me, the very word “Coincidence” tells you this truth. A “Coincidence” means two coordinating incidents that happen at the same time. Only the Divine Creator of time and circumstance can ordain this. So it isn’t the question of “Was that God or was that a coincidence?” It’s God that creates the coincidence!
lysm - Sara